Self-Love and Calm for New Mothers: A Valentines Prescription

Valentine’s Day takes on a whole new meaning for new mothers. There may not be a candlelit dinner. No chocolate. And a bottle of wine is out of the question. When you have the ‘baby blues’ or postpartum depression, it can be an especially challenging time of year.

Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be a time of excitement and joy for many new parents. However, for many, the transition can be marked by feeling down, sad, or worried. Eighty percent of mothers experience the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after their baby is born. Common symptoms include mood swings, crying, worrying, irritability, sadness, and difficulty sleeping. In many cases, these resolve on their own in one to two weeks. In cases where these feelings are not resolving on their own, these moms may be among the 20% of people experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum anxiety (PPA).

PPA is actually thought to be more common than PPD, though there is a lot of overlap between the two. If you are struggling, it’s important to know this is very common and to share this information with your care providers, as they can ensure you are properly assessed and can direct you to the appropriate care. If you are concerned about a friend or family member, help them seek care and support them in doing the self-care strategies outlined below.

While there are many treatment options, including counseling and medications, NEST-S is a simple, research-backed strategy for self-care that has been shown to make a big difference in maternal mental health and wellbeing. NEST-S involves focusing on the following:

Nutrition

• Try to eat balanced, nutritious food when able & stay hydrated. 
• Get your partner/support people to make you easy, healthy snacks
• Carry a water bottle around with you 
• If you are breastfeeding, you will need to eat about 400 extra calories per day (compared to before pregnancy)

• Regular physical activity reduces stress, clears the mind, and improves sleep
• Check with your care provider about any limitations, especially soon after delivery
• Try to be consistent; short, regular sessions are better than long, infrequent ones
• Bring the baby with you if you have no childcare options (i.e., stroller, carrier)
• If it’s hard to get going, start with a 5-minute walk around the block

Sleep

• Chronic sleep deprivation worsens mood and anxiety
• Many parents report significant improvements in mental health if they can get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep even once or twice a week 
• It’s important to get help (especially with nighttime feeds) to ensure you get uninterrupted sleep from time to time
• Adjust your expectations of yourself. Your body and life have changed significantly, and you need to let some stuff go to get the rest you need during this time. 

Time for yourself

• Taking time to yourself may cause feelings of guilt or be a difficult habit to develop, but it will be helpful for you in the long run, especially if you are feeling down or anxious. 
• You will probably need to scale back what you can accomplish in a day. Keeping your new baby fed, changed, and cared for is a full-time job!

Support

• Ask for help. Accept help when it is offered. 
• ALL new parents need support from others (and yes, even the ones who seem to have it all together still need help)
• Get help making a list of errands and tasks that need to be done around the house
• Reach out to a friend just to chat and vent about life’s challenges
• Check out the list of resources below and reach out to your care provider if things aren’t improving.